MsPsycho’s Sexy Thoughts

Story sent to me by a LEO (law enforcement officer)

Last year my life changed completely. I am a 32 year old white male who works as a police officer in a large east coast department. I am in good shape and good sized so people treat me with a fair amount of respect, particularly when I am in uniform. It was a Saturday night and I was working an evening shift.

 
I received a call for a theft from a vehicle in an upper middle class neighborhood. The area I work has high crime areas which surround pockets of nice expensive houses. I was not too excited too respond for the report but its part of the job.

I arrived at a nice house at the end of a cul-de-sac and was admiring the house as I walked to the door. It had a two car garage and looked like it was large enough for four or five bedrooms. I backed up to a wooded area and was shielded from view of the neighboring houses. The seclusion is nice for privacy. Unfortunately it is also appealing to burglars and car thieves. I saw some broken in the driveway.

I rang the door bell and a 45 year old white male answered. He was slightly shorter than I was and had a trimmed beard. I introduced myself and asked him what the problem was. He told me to come inside. I followed him into a study.

 
The study was dark and had wood panel wall, a nice large wood desk, comfortable chairs and pictures on the walls. Impatient to get the report information and get back on the road I sat in the chair with out really looking at the pictures. He told me his name was Greg, that he had left his bag in his vehicle which had been parked in the driveway where I had seen the glass and I began to collect the information required for the report.

One of the blocks on the report asks for occupation and work address. I asked him who he worked for and he told me that he was self employed. I got quite a shock when I asked him his occupation. He told me that he was a master. I didn’t know quite what he meant and asked him for clarification. Instead of answering he just looked me in the eyes and told me to look at the pictures.

 
The first picture I looked at was of a man and a gorgeous woman tied naked side by side. They were on their backs with their legs spread and pulled up by straps. The next picture was of the man I was talking to standing between the same woman’s legs fucking her and jacking off the man.

I was dumfounded and extremely turned on. Images were racing through my head. I have always been turned on by dominance and submission and have long fantasized about finding a dominant woman. I am married but unfortunately my wife does not share my interests. She will humor me and tease me with my fantasy of her sleeping with another man but that is as far as she goes.

While I was staring at the pictures he explained that he was a professional dominant. He said the couple in the picture were married and had come to him to be dominated by him. He also told me that the married couple in the picture had not been paying him when the picture was taken and were seeing him on a non-professional basis (he was talking to a uniformed police officer after all and prostitution is illegal).

Several seconds after his explanation I still had not said anything. He asked me what I thought about his profession in kind of a challenging way. I, without looking at him (I was looking at the second picture) told him that I thought it was interesting. I don’t usually get excited at work and have never been sexually excited around another man but at that moment I was as turned on as I had ever been.

He was looking at me and I think he could tell I was turned on. He asked me what part of I found interesting the dominance or the submission. I hesitated, afraid to answer, and then said quietly “submission” without meeting his gaze. He then asked me if I would like to see his dungeon. I said yes and looked at him. He was smiling.

 
I followed him to the basement and walked into a room that looked like it had come from a magazine. Every type of bondage furniture and equipment imaginable was there. More pictures of men, women and couples in bondage and submission to this man covered the wall. He stopped after walking into the room and turned to face me. He stood very close to me (much closer than I let people do when I am working) and asked me if I had ever seen a dominant.

I could not look at him as I told him that I had seen some professional dominant woman before and then added, “But never a man.” He stepped even closer and placed his hand on my crotch. He could feel my erection. Then he said, “Do you want to submit to me?” and squeezed my crotch.

I still could not look at him as I said, “Yes.”

He stood there for several seconds holding my hard cock and balls through my uniform pants. He then released my cock and balls and told me to kneel in front of him. I did and he told me that if I wanted him to be my master I would have to agree to his conditions. At that point I was so excited I would have agreed to anything. He told me that should he decide to take me I would be his and that any relationships I had prior to him would be secondary. His interests would be the only that mattered. He asked if I was married and I told him I was. He then asked me if I would put his interests in front of hers. I said that I would.

After that he told me to put my head in his crotch and press my cheek against his cock and balls. I did it praying that he would let me take them from his pants. He didn’t. He then told me to remove my head and asked me when I got off work. I told him when I was supposed to get off but that I would get off whenever he wanted. He told me to come back to his house after I got off. He also told me to forget the theft report. He then sent me on my way.

I was in sexual shock. I had 3 hours before I got off. I didn’t even consider not going back. Lucky for me my wife was out of town for the weekend. I went to the station told my sergeant that I had to go, turned in the cruiser, took of my uniform and went home. I immediately stripped and began to masturbate. I played with my self without cumming until it was time to drive to his house.

I put on a pair of my wife’s panties under my jeans and drove back to his house. I rang the bell and he answered the door. He looked me in the eye and said that there was no going back after this. He then told me to get on my knees on the doorstep and ask to be his slave. I did. He then produced a plastic bag and told me to strip and put everything I had in the bag. I complied and was soon kneeling naked on his stoop. He then told me to follow him on my knees into the house and he led me to the dungeon. He told me to get on a bench on my back and he then tied me as the man and woman had been in the picture. He then began to question me about my sexual experiences. He was very pleased to hear that I had never had a homosexual encounter before.

My cock was throbbing as I lay there tied and spread before this stranger. He began to put some sort of lubricant on my anus and then to push his finger in and out of my ass. He commented on how tight I was. He then began using a small vibrating dildo it was tight but the feeling was incredible.

He then switched to a larger dildo and then a still larger one. He left the last one in my ass and took off his pants. He walked around to my head and I saw his large, still flaccid penis. He told me to beg to suck it. I did. I had never tasted or touched another mans cock before.

I slowly took its soft shape into my mouth and gently began to suck. I was in ecstasy my own cock was as hard as it had ever been and his soon followed suite. I badly wanted him to come in my mouth. However he had another idea. After several minutes of my sucking his cock he withdrew and walked to my expose ass. He removed the dildo and slowly slid his larger cock in. It hurt at first but my ass stretched to fit my new master’s cock.

Then he began to fuck me in earnest. I was moaning and thrusting my hips to meet his thrusts. He then slowed and leaned over me, pressing his stomach onto my throbbing cock. He pulled my head up and kissed me on the mouth sliding his tongue into my mouth. I came like I never have before all over his stomach. He pulled out of my ass and had me lick my come off of his stomach. He then put his cock back into my mouth and came after I sucked it for several seconds.

After I came I regretted being there for several moments but being tied I was forced to lie there and be used by him. I usually loose interest immediately after ejaculation. I was soon excited again. I stayed at his house that entire night and sucked him to several more orgasms. That was my only cum.

After that night I saw him at least once a week. I clean his house, do chores and service him. He also sees other sub missive’s and I have served along side others. I met the couple in the pictures. I have sucked her pussy before and after he has cum in her and I have sucked his dick.

My wife knew nothing of this for a most of the last year. My master knew of my desire to see her fucked by another man and decided to make it happen. The couple in the picture Amy and Mike own an advertising business that while small is fairly successful. My wife, Glory, was looking for another job as an office manager.

Ann and Carlo happened to have an opening. I told Glory that I had heard of an opening and she went to interview. They hit it off and she was hired. Greg owns the building that they have their offices in. Greg arranged to have contact with her in her capacity as office manager.

Glory and I get along great and both love each other. My sexual desires had always been stronger that hers and I had always maintained an active fantasy life. After I met Greg sex with her was the best it had ever been.

 
It really excited me to know I was owned by another man and she didn’t know it. I still wanted to see another man (Greg) screw her. Glory is attractive 5′5″ 130 pounds brunette. She dresses fairly conservatively. For the past few years she has indulged my fantasy of seeing her with another man by talking about it during sex.

The first time Glory had a meeting with Greg I knew he had an effect. Ann saw her after her meeting with him and told me that she was flushed. Glory also mentioned him at dinner. That night I told her too think about him during sex. She had several more meetings with him over the next few weeks and each time she told me and we had great sex. I continued to serve him.

On night during sex she asked me if I really would get excited if she slept with another man not just fantasy. I told her I really would and asked her why. She told me that she was really attracted to Greg and thought that he liked her from her contact with him.

We had the best sex we ever had after talking about it. The next night she came home, tied me to the bed and sat on my face. I could taste his sperm coming from her pussy. She told me that she had fucked Greg and told him about it being my fantasy. This eventually led to Greg telling her to bring me to watch which she did.

Greg and I did not tell her of our relationship. He acted as if he was meeting me for the first time the night we went to his house. I had to struggle to ask Glory for directions to look as if I didn’t know where I was going. That night was as good as my first night with Greg.

We had dinner and then Glory got dominant and tied me to a chair and told me she was going to fuck Greg and I was going to watch. Then she and Greg proceeded to do just that. I was shocked to see that she actually let him slightly dominate her. She had never expressed the slightest interest in being submissive to me.

I watched as me slid his big dick in and out of her and made her beg for it. She actually came while he was fucking her. With me she can only come when I lick her. She was shocked when he made me suck his dick after he fucked her. She recovered enough to make me clean her pussy and lick his come from her.

Since that night my wife and I both serve Greg.

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  WARNING  !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

This story is a work of fiction, and deals with killing and torture.

There are some things in this world that everyone should try at least once. Murder is one of them. People don’t understand the thrill, the worry and the lust for death until they’ve tried it, until they have blood on their hands, in their mouth, soaking into their clothes staining them forever with the sin they have just committed. It’s the ultimate power trip, the act of god. Bringing justice to those who’ve wronged you, or just helping the population explosion with a random cull of the masses. It’s a turn on.

And it’s not that I don’t like people. I love people. I’m a very social person, just with some anti-social fetishes, and I am not alone in this world. There are many who exist solely for the joy of bringing death upon someone. For the pleasure in the foreplay and the act itself, it’s enough of a heat to cause wet dreams for days beforehand. It’s an addiction in ways. Blood lust, the chase, the capture, the torment, the kill and the secret knowledge that you alone did it; caused the pleasure, caused the pain and in the end, disposed of the used and abused corpse.

I entered into this dark, macabre underworld after my first boyfriend met his end. It wasn’t a terrible end, quite compassionate if I say so myself. He hardly suffered and enjoyed the prelude to his demise immensely, almost as much as I enjoyed his passing over. I hadn’t meant for it to happen, we’d been fighting and the blade slipped. Well, that’s my story. It was a crime of passion. All my crimes are that of passion, but this was passion of a different kind. He brought anger out in me, he induced me to a state of rage that I’d never seen before, and I was a savage, unleashed on him, my un-willing victim.

I say un-willing, but that didn’t last long. My rage turned to excitement and I treated him to a night like no other he’d ever had. He was taken to the furthest reaches of pleasure, teased, tormented and seduced; it was a night of near explosive lust given physical release. A night I am unable to forget, and a night he would never survive. All in all, a good first experience in murder.

The mess was the first thing that hit me, once my ears had stopped ringing and blood flow stemmed. The place looked like a war had taken place. Crimson was splashed everywhere, it looked like bad modern decorating, and he lay, slashed and bound at a torturous angle on top of a lake of slowly drying blood. It was a masterpiece. I wish I’d thought back then to take pictures, I don’t think I’ve since came close to the beauty that pure passion encouraged to massacre can create.

I hungered after that first foray into the killing arts. I had a need to fulfill, and only the feeling I got after watching someone die sated me. It wasn’t just the death that done it either, it was everything. The cold chamber in the back of my car where I led my eager prey, the entrapment, the granting of their last urges, my own orgasmic release then the feast of their flesh. It all came together in a crescendo of pleasure and pain, which merged into one electrifying experience, and what can I say? Everyone needs a hobby.

Truly, I only found solace in my car. It was a place that was mine alone, filled with lost souls and the smell of sex and death, it was the place I spent the majority of my time. Whether it be indulging in my secret desire or being alone with myself, away from the squalor of the flat I lived in, and the noise of the two other people I was forced to live with.

My truck was an old one, camouflaged 89 Chevrolet Blazer. I didn’t look the type to drive a monster like that, but I did all the same. I’d always liked them for their room and the privacy the back area provided. With a grill to separate it from the cab it was my own personal torture chamber, complete with chains and other temptations, it was perfect. I’d owned the truck for a number of years before I first fully appreciated how useful it would be to my new pastime, now it was the carrier of a dark mistress for a new age, a bringer of death.

The truck provided a more personal kind of satisfaction as well, for not every night could I go on a rampage of sex and death, I had to choose the right victim. They had to fit the profile. It was a process that took time, but my own yearnings and needs didn’t work that way. I still lusted the same, and it was quite by accident that I found my unique way of pleasuring myself.

It was one day while parking along a back road to dispose of some bits from my car that I figured out how my car could be used to it’s full potential. The bits I was getting rid of were contained in a bag that had been rotting in the back of my truck for a few days and from which the smell had finally overcame my senses and forced me to dump the final pieces of what had been a most enjoyable ride. Swinging the truck into reverse as I was leaving, the vibration through the gear stick sent a quiver to the pit of my stomach and my eyes drifted over to the black plastic head that throbbed under my palm. My mind whirred with ideas, and just how much delight I could derive from the cold, hard stick that now beckoned me to give it a try.

I pulled the handbrake on and the vibration increased, my smile widened. I found the hardest part was maneuvering myself as I discovered to keep that level of tremor through the shaft the car had to be in gear, my left foot slid off the clutch as my right slid on and my hip swung my leg over to the passenger side foot space. With my foot pressing the pedal to the metal and my left foot finding a comfortable position I began to lower myself onto the gear stick.

As it painfully forced itself into me, my hands fought to find balance as I found my legs starting to tremble with my own pleasure, my right foot balanced precariously on the edge of the clutch and closing my eyes I forced myself to focus on pushing the clutch down. I continued to slide myself up and down the shaft, the initial pain now gone in a rush of adrenalin and excitement while both blood and my own juices provided lubrication for the gear knob. It worked quickly, and I think the atmosphere brought me round quicker, nothing like your own blood dripping down your legs while you have something with that much horse power pulsing away inside you to turn a girl on. But as I got more into the rhythm, I lost my head to my desire and my right foot slowly began to slide from the clutch. Oblivious to the impending problem, I could feel my lust start to blossom, twisting and contorting throughout my body as my foot came completely away from the clutch. As the car stalled, I was lurched forward and could feel the shock reverberate throughout my system as this now silent, slick object hammered inside me.

Dizzy and on the edge of passing out from an overdose of pleasure and pain, I hauled myself up and lifted myself away from the gear stick, lowering myself back to the driving seat where as my eyes began to focus, I saw the blood that ran in stream down my inner thigh. I shook my head and reached for the roll of kitchen towel and began to mop up my mess, reminding myself that for future solitary experiences, I’d find a brick to hold down the clutch. Still shaking, but with the blood flow stemmed. I drove away from the scene of my perversions. I was in the mood for someone new, someone to make me feel alive again. To get that rush as they died, I needed to do something new. I was stuck in a rut where nothing excited me anymore. I desperately wanted to rediscover that feeling that first gave me that taste for death.

The search for the perfect partner was a long, drawn out one. I often grudged it, but in the end it was worth it. To take someone who was not fully willing to give him or herself to me, to become mine, it was just not the same. Of course, in saying that, I don’t mean that my victims knew their fate, but they were more willing to play along than those who would scream though all the entertainment, before a razor had even glanced off their pretty, virgin flesh.

I found my victims everywhere from shopping, to drives through town. They stood out from everyone else, they had that glint in their eyes that others didn’t. That special something that said they were willing to take a risk. That they got off on risks, that for one night, they would accompany me to their deaths. I wanted a challenge now, my truck had witnessed the death of over ten people and it was becoming routine. Chase, capture, torment, kill - easy. I wanted to get that edge, that something that would really excite me. I needed someone who wasn’t easy, someone who would fight back, yet enjoy it as much as I did. For weeks, I never thought I would find this illusive someone. Then I saw him.
He sat in the corner of the bar, drinking a bottle of beer. His eyes showed deep thought about something on his mind. I bought myself lemonade and sat down beside him. He barely glanced at me but I gave him my best smile back. I introduced myself and he shrugged and mumbled something. I twisted myself closer to him on my seat, my hand brushing over his leg. As my fingers brushed his jeans, he gave me a sharp look then his features softened and he smiled at me. Without saying a word, I moved my hand back to his leg and gently stroked up his thigh. His smile widened and he leaned forward and whispered into my ear, “Do you have somewhere more private for us to go?” I nodded, giddy with such instant success and led him from the bar to my car.

He climbed into the passenger side and we drove to the outskirts of town. I told him what I wanted to do to him, how I wanted him to feel and he lapped it up, moaning as I buried one hand into his jeans. I could barely contain my delight, he was perfect, handsome, ready to take the risks I had offered and he looked fiery, but not as fiery as would as the night progressed. I doubted though that he would accept death as his fate, I wanted him to fight.

I parked a distance from the road in a place I knew we wouldn’t get disturbed and ushered him into the back of the Blazer. He laid down without me having to ask and let me climb in on top of him. After frenzied minutes of rampant lust, I reached for the rope and started to bind his hands behind his back. He squirmed under the taut bonds but never complained. His eyes were glazed with passion as I continued to work on him, tying each foot to the sides of the truck, leaving him spread and waiting for whatever I wanted.

I glanced about the back of the truck, as well as being home to a variety of sex toys, it also held the equipment needed to keep my car running. As I spied the petrol can, I smiled. Dragging it out from behind him, I pulled off the funnel. I ran the end of it around my mouth and let him watch, the taste of petrol dull in my mouth. He moaned louder as I ran my fingers over his hard cock and took him fully into my mouth. He moaned loudly with pleasure, fighting his bonds, his eyes gazing at me with that look of lust that people get as they near their edge.

I smiled up at him, and then began dumping gas over his naked body. His eyes conveyed a sense of confusion as I stopped sucking his cock, and without warning shoved the funnel of the gas can into his tight ass. I grinned, lowering myself to kiss him one last time, letting him taste the petrol that still lingered on my tongue. He kissed me ferociously in return, exploring my mouth with need and desire. I pulled away almost sadly as I pushed the funnel deeper inside him. I then tipped the can, letting the petrol flooded its way into his tight ass. He gasped and began to fight me; his legs thrashing wildly as his arms sawed the ropes that held his wrists. I could nearly taste his fear.

I reached for my knife, which was held in my boots and cut the ropes that attached his feet to the vehicle. He screamed, a deep-throated wail that I was sure everyone for miles around would hear. To quiet him, I smacked him across the jaw. Knocking him out until death would come to claim him. Dragging him out of the car, he was a dead weight. I hauled him into the nearby field and carried the remainder of the petrol with me in the can. Laying him gently into the grass, I lay myself over him and kissed his unresponsive lips, wrapping my legs around one of his and squeezing as I worked myself around to orgasm. I wanted him to burn freshly coated with my fluids, so when he awoke in hell - my mark would be on him.

I brought myself around quickly, moaning and groaning in the quiet of the night, trembling with delight and rolling from him into the grass. Spent and shivering in euphoria, I stood up and started to douse him with the remaining gas. Once he lay soaked and unconscious, I reached into my pocket and retrieved my matches. Lighting one, I threw it between his legs and jumped back as his body flared, the fire racing deep inside him, following the trail of petrol.

The fire had me captivated. It was beautiful, and the aromas of cooking flesh, delicious. He burned brightly, from the inside out and all over and as he came around, his screams echoed out, but they didn’t last long. The smoke from his body silenced him as it overcame him, and led him down the road to death. I watched for as long as I could, but I knew the fire would be spotted and I had to make myself scarce. Grabbing the fuel can, I jogged back to my car and raced it home.

Settling into a well-deserved bath before any of my friends returned from a late night party. As I lay, in the comfort of the warm water, I pictured him again and reaching for the hand held shower, I brought myself around again, trying to decide on how I would kill my next victim as my moans reverberated in the small tiled room.

My first boyfriend was right you know, that night when he died, he’d called me insatiable, and I am. I’m still waiting for the kill that will sate my passion; maybe it is something I will only find in my own demise. Maybe that is the kill that will give me everything I desire…

I have always loved driving around with nowhere to go. Sometimes I would spend hours behind the wheel of my gleaming red sports car, heading nowhere in particular, just enjoying the feel of the wind in my face and reveling in the power of the engine under the hood. I love speed. Even as a student, my driving school teacher had ordered me to slow down. “You’re going to get your license taken away you one day, if you aren’t careful,” I was told, but I didn‘t care.

Even now, as I whizzed down the winding, tree lined road, the speedometer was just topping 70mph. I didn’t worry about being stopped the police, because the road was relatively quiet new due to the by-pass, which had recently been completed, and being out in the wilds somewhat, it usually did not merit police attention. Usually.

“Oh, fuck,” I muttered, as the sound of the two-tone siren began its high pitched wailing. Through my mirror I could see the flashing blue lights on top of the County Trooper SUV with two male officers sitting in the front.

Resigning myself to fate, I pulled off to the side of the road and waited for the cops to stop behind me. Through the rear-view mirror, I watched as the driver got out and proceeded to walk purposefully towards my parked vehicle. The cop looked big, at least six foot three and powerfully built by the look of it.

The officer walked up to my window, pulled out his little black ticket book, and began to write some details down. “What’s the big rush?” the cop muttered condescendingly. I remained silent and didn’t make eye contact. “Your license and the vehicle registration,” he barked.

I handed them over grudgingly, now looking into the officer’s steely blue eyes. The cop wasn’t all that bad looking, I noticed, even kind of hot. A bit heavily macho, with hard rugged features and a bushy black moustache, but not bad at all.

“Are you aware you were doing over 70 miles per hour on a 50 mile per hour road?” he asked, scribbling more details down in his little black book.

I smiled flirtingly, “Yes, I’m sorry. I got a bit carried away. It’s a new car…”

The cop cut me off. “No excuse for breaking the law.”

Arrogant fuck, I thought quietly to myself.

“The fixed penalty in this area is 2,000 dollars,” the cop went on, a sadistic tone in his voice. “How do you feel about having to pay that?”

I smiled sweetly, “I’d prefer not to,” I said in my best sexy little voice.

The policeman grinned menacingly. “I’ll bet you would,” he said, scratching his ear with his pencil. “I suppose we can always give you an oral warning.”

“Don’t you mean a verbal warning?” I asked, puzzled.

“I know what I mean,” the cop muttered, and then motioned his hand towards his partner. As if it was some kind of signal, the other cop stepped out of the big SUV.

“Need any help, Joe?” he called out to the cop standing beside my car as he strolled over.

This officer was younger than his partner, with blonde hair and a fresh rookie face, but still with a really nice muscle tone.

The cop called Joe shook his head. “I think she’s cooperating, aren’t you?” he said with an evil leer on his face.

I began to feel uneasy. “Sure. I’ll do whatever you say.”

“Then why not step out of your vehicle and accompany us to the back of the SUV.”

“Am I under arrest?” I asked, climbing slowly out of the driving seat.

The two cops smiled and exchanged a knowing look. “Not if you play ball,” officer Joe said grinning. He must have been in his late thirties, a good ten years older than his blonde partner.

Together we walked to where the SUV was parked, with me in between the two officers. Something seemed strangely wrong, and suspicion was making me unsure if he was doing the right thing by “playing ball.” In truth, I had always had something of a fetish for men in uniforms ever since I was an adolescent, but I’d never had the opportunity to indulge in my wild fantasies.

Part two

When we reached the wagon, the young blonde cop opened the back doors, and I was ushered in. As I climbed up Joe helped me up, his hand brushing across my ass. The two cops climbed in after me and pulled the door partly shut. They sat on one side of the seats, staring across at me, both smiling.

“Now what shall we do?” Joe said with a boyish grin on his face.

“I know,” offered his partner, Matt. “Why doesn’t our little lady here give us a show? A strip show.”

I almost fell off my seat. “Wait a minute,” I said. “I’m not doing a strip for anybody!”

Joe’s eyes narrowed. “Not even if it means saving your skin from an assault charge?”

“Assault?” I gasped. “What are you talking about?”

“Don’t you remember how you tried to kick the shit out of me when I pulled you over for speeding?” the cop said. “Matt here remembers because he had to help me subdue you. That’s how you got your bruises.”

“I don’t have any bruises.”

Officer Matt smiled. “It can be arranged.”

“So how about it?” his partner asked. “Why not take your clothes off like a good little girl, and then we can let you go on your way without any further hassle.”

Reluctantly, I agreed. With my eyes fixed firmly on the floor I took off my shoes and socks, tucking the socks neatly inside the shoes and then laying the shoes to one side.

“Just like a good little girl,” Joe said laughing.

I shot him a nasty look. Feeling extremely self-conscious, I unbuttoned my shirt slowly, letting my braless breast be exposed. I have a good body, and in normal circumstances I wasn’t ashamed of showing it off. On the beach I would strut about wearing the skimpiest bikini with a G-string proudly showing my tight little ass. But as I pulled off my shirt in the back of the van, I could feel the eyes of the two policemen burning into me.

“That’s it,” said Joe. “Don’t be shy.” He was rubbing his left hand between his legs as he spoke.

My throat had gone very dry and I seemed unable to swallow. Plucking up courage I stood up, which wasn’t easy in the cramped rear of the SUV, and began to unzip my jeans and pushed them down to my ankles. Kicking them off, I slipped my G-string down as well and sat down again, naked.

“Now that’s better, isn’t it?” Joe asked, as though I were a child. “And we wouldn’t want you to feel like the odd one out, would we, Matt?”

The blonde shook his head. “No way,” he answered, unzipping his trousers. As I watched, the young policeman took off his dark blue trousers and removed his underpants. His cock was large, although quite slim, uncircumcised and fully erect. The bulbous head was wet and shiny, and the bed of pubic curls between his legs was surprisingly fair.

“Time to suck some cock.” Joe said as he proceeded to take off his own pants. It was obvious they were going to make me suck them off, still I was nervous.

I could feel my cunt beginning to throb, something which I hadn’t expected to happen. I was about to be sexually assaulted and I was getting wet.

Joe stepped out of his trousers and underpants and sat down on the seats on the other side of the van from me. He splayed his legs wide open, exposing airy muscular thighs and a dense bush of wiry dark curls in his crotch, from which hung his large heavy balls. His dick was circumcised and sleek, and stood out erect from his groin, arching slightly to the right… perhaps as a result of too much masturbation as a kid.

“Okay, my bad girl,” he said holding his cock by the shaft and stroking it. “Time for a bit of cock-sucking, don’t you think, Matt”

The younger copper, who was sitting next to Joe and slowly jerking off, gave a big stupid grin and lowered his head to my naked cunt. Joe watched totally fascinated as Matt lapped at my shaven cunt without hesitation, sliding his sensuous full lips up and down my clit, as Joe began rubbing and sucking on my tits.

I was unable to tear my eyes from the blatant display in front of me, and as I watched I became aware that I was enjoying what was happening. I was getting as horny as the two policemen obviously were, the sight of the two half-naked officers giving my body attention, sent waves of pleasure through my body.

Part three

Joe touched my neck, easing his cock up so that just the swollen pink cock-head was near my lips. I ran my tongue around the rim of the cock-head, tracing the line of the faint white circumcision scar.

“Now I think it’s time our prisoner to earned her freedom,” Joe said, pulling my head up and away from his crotch. Joe motioned to Matt, and they switched positions. I took hold of Matt’s penis, glistening with pre-cum and took his cock deep into my throat. I could taste the officers semen, salty and slightly bitter.

I drew my mouth back and forth along the thick shaft, taking the cock in so deep I almost gagged before drawing it out until just the very tip was still between my lips. I repeated this for a while, loving the feel of the officers hard prick in my mouth, the soft gentle moaning which was coming from Matt seemed like music to my ears, making me so wet that it was dripping on the seat.

I had my eyes closed, and in the cool darkness of the van I felt the warmth of a hand between my legs and knew it must be Joe. I was being maneuvered so that the lower half of my body was twisted sideways, my exposed body on the van floor and my legs outstretched. A moment later I felt the exquisite wet sensation of Joe’s mouth between my legs.

The older cop was licking the inside of my thighs, working his way up to my clit. Circling it, and then sucking it hard into his mouth. I had to close off my mind, or I was going to squirt cum all over his face. I tried concentrating on sucking Matt’s hot throbbing manhood. I ran my tongue along the thick vein on the underside of Matt’s cock, starting at the root and working up to the bulbous dick- head. I squeezed the head gently so that the small piss-hole at the tip opened, and, using my eager tongue, I licked at the semen which was seeping out.

I stopped for a moment, gasping as I felt Joe sticking his tongue deep inside my cunt. The cop was obviously an expert when it came to licking a woman’s cunt. I was so aroused by the unexpected ’session’ that I was very close to his climax.

Apparently, Matt was as close to cumming as I was. His hips gyrated slightly as I sucked at his cock, and his scrotum seemed tight and full. Suddenly he grabbed my hair, yanked my head back so that his cock slipped out of my mouth, and hunched over me, he grabbed his cock and began jerking furiously. A gob of thick white cum spurted powerfully from the cop’s dick, splattering in my face and running down the bridge of my nose and cheeks. More and more spunk shot forth, until I was drenched in the warm milky juice.

When I had finished, Matt released the fistful of my hair he had and sat down on the seat again. He motioned to Joe, who was merrily licking and sucking my pussy like he hadn’t eaten in days. Joe proceeded to stick his fingers in my cunt, trying to withdraw some of my juices from deep inside. Matt began pinching my nipples as Joe continued his assault on my dripping wet cunt.

When Joe felt me cumming he pushed me down roughly onto my back, and stuck his cock into my opening. I let out a loud moan as his huge cock filled my cunt. As he began thrusting in and out of my cunt, my bodily instincts took over and I began moving rhythmically to his long hard strokes. Inside I could feel him growing larger and harder the faster he pumped in and out of my cunt. He was thrusting and pushing, causing his cock to plunge deep into my pussy.

Within minutes, my pussy started cumming, and Joe began shooting his huge, thick load of cum across my stomach. They both moved away from me and laid there exhausted by the sheer force of the passion they had just indulged in.

The two cops dressed quickly and in complete silence, buttoning up their tunics as though nothing had happened. “Come on, little girl, get dressed,” Joe said. “Unless you want to come back to the station with us.”

I quickly scrambled for my clothing and dressed faster than I had ever had in my life before. Joe opened the back rear door and almost threw me out. “Make sure you stick to the speed limit next time, okay?” he said, turning his back on me and walking to the front of the SUV. He opened the driver’s door and climbed in.

I looked at Matt, who smiled.

“So what happens now?” I asked. “Do I expect a visit from the law at home?”

Matt laughed. “Are you joking?” he grinned.

I suddenly realized just how handsome the young cop was.

“This is the end of the matter, well at least for now.”

Forbidden Phrase #1 “Relax”

It might seem logical to you to tell a woman who’s freaking out to relax. And if “logical” meant the same thing as “stupidest idea ever,” you’d be correct. Understand, a woman screaming and carrying on in anger or frustration or panic thinks that her response is 100 percent appropriate. If the inciting situation has anything to do with you, she feels she has a responsibility to freak out extra to compensate for your maddening calm.

So when you tell her to relax, you’re implying that your response –i.e., nothing– is correct. You’re denying that there’s a reason to be upset. You’re telling her she’s crazy. Women may sometimes feel crazy and joke about it, but anything smacking of accusations of being crazy will be far from soothing.

Say…”I’m just as upset about this as you are. Let’s deal with it together.” This way she knows you’re totally sympathetic. This should help her to…oh, God…relax.

Forbidden Phrase #2: “I love you.” (During a fight)

In movies, “I love you” is usually employed by men during I-love-you appropriate situations — lovemaking, walks on the beach, airport reunions. In real life, a woman hears “I love you” most often at that point in a fight when she desperately wants to get to the heart of the issue, and when you desperately want to stop this nonsense and watch Lost — which you don’t normally even watch.

When you come home shirtless from a bachelor party or forget our birthdays and stand there in the face of our rage and crushing disappointment, do you really believe that merely stating the powerful existence of your love is going to make everything okay? Because it’s not.

Say…

1. “[Insert detailed explanation of what you did and why you did it.]“

2. “It won’t happen again.”

3. “I love you.” (It’s okay at the end of the apology, just not at the beginning.)

And when you go to a bachelor party, take along an extra shirt.

Forbidden Phrase #3: “It’s up to you.” (a.k.a. “Whatever you want to do is fine with me.”)

Relationships are full of decisions. You decide where to eat, where to go on vacation, where to send your child to preschool. Most men wouldn’t dream of looking at their wife or girlfriend and saying, “You know what? I just don’t care.” They would, however, say, “It’s up to you.” And find themselves in a world of hurt they never saw coming.

Men think of decision-making as work without pay. For women, it’s like window-shopping for life’s possibilities, and we want you to help us shop. So when you say, “It’s up to you,” we feel abandoned.

Say… “I could definitely do A or B, but I’m not crazy about C. What are you thinking?” This shows you’re listening, suggests you care, and gets you out of deciding.

Forbidden Phrase #4: “You knew I was this way when you married me.”

Well, the truth is that we didn’t. Or we knew deep down, but we were so busy enjoying our fantasy of you that we chose to ignore what was really there. It’s not your fault. It’s just that when we were little, we spent so much time daydreaming about having the perfect life. Now that we’re actually in grown-up life, we can’t turn off our daydreaming switch.

Telling a woman, “You knew I was this way when you married me” is like saying the way your life is right now is the way it’s going to be forever and ever. And that may well be true–in many wonderful and not-so-wonderful ways. But if she were to accept that, a little part of her would die.

Say… “It frustrates me, too — and I’m working on it.” It’s a lie. That’s okay.

Forbidden Phrase #5: (Nothing)

At times, you may be afraid of saying the wrong thing. You may think, If I just keep my mouth shut, I’ll be okay. Well, no. Imagine you’re pitching in a baseball game in which there is no hitter, not even a catcher. You would not enjoy that. Imagine yourself, head hanging, going to retrieve the ball yourself and, once again, throwing it to no one. That’s how we feel when you don’t talk to us.

Say… Anything. Throw the ball back. Throw it badly. Even risk throwing a wild pitch and letting her take an extra base. But keep your head in the game.

THE MAGIC WORDS: 3 Instant Get-Out-of-Jail-Free Cards

When a woman wants to kill you, you have one thing going for you: Deep down, a tiny part of her wants you to make her not do it. She just might put down the apple slicer if you say one of the following sentences.

“Just tell me everything.”

I don’t think a man has ever actually uttered this statement, so make history. Here’s the thing: Our most violent anger is often the result of anticipating being forced to shut up. So once we’re told we can give our entire, endless account — no rushing or defending ourselves — we cool off. Side benefit: We also get a little intimidated. We think, Is this part important or interesting or relevant? We edit ourselves.

“You are just so beautiful.”

The trick: You must say it as if it’s just occurring to you at the moment, as if her pulchritude were a rainbow suddenly in your path, the stunningness of which has left you incapacitated, emotionally stunted, but in a good way. Say it as if you can remember little else — certainly not whatever irksome matter you were just discussing. Works well as an alternative to “I love you” — but, the same way butter makes anything taste better, it’s all-purpose.

“Sorry. It was all my fault.”

So classic. So hard to say. Because it’s never all your fault, of course — and it’s a very rare case in which she shouldn’t also say she’s sorry. Everyone likes to save face, especially men. But truly, there is nothing hotter to a woman than a man who’s willing to admit he was wrong because he just loves her so damn much. You might feel like you’re losing her respect, but unless you’re always the one to apologize (which means you have a crazy lady on your hands), trust me, you’re gaining it.

This one is for you my friend…

I wanted him the second I laid eyes on him again after many years. I loved hearing him say he was a cop, and told him about my fantasy of being fucked by a bad cop. We had dated when I was a teen, but broke off the relationship for reasons I can’t now remember.

I wanted him in my cunt stretching me open with his big cock. I stayed up most of the night before text messaging little naughty things that I wanted to do to his body if I ever got a chance. After some debating on where to meet, we decided to meet late the next night at Morris Park in Glenpool. There were just enough places behind trees that a person could park and not be seen.

I got there first and parked in the very back behind a large piled of broken tree limbs from the winter storms. Within just a few minutes I saw the head lights of his patrol car coming in my direction. I watched as he drove around my car, and then parked beside the huge brush pile. It was getting late, and soon it would be light. Either I got him now, I thought, or I was going home horny.

I must have wanted it bad, because I got out my car, leaned against a tree, and dropped the back of my jeans, completely exposing my small round ass cheeks. I glanced back, but he seemed to be looking down at some paper work. Harder, I thought. This was no time to be inconspicuous. I dropped my jeans entirely and leaned forward, exposing my already wet cunt as an invitation.

I pulled one hand away long enough to suck it into my mouth, wetting my fingers, then returned it to my ass. I held myself open, and slowly worked a finger across my ass down to my wet cunt, pulling some juices out from inside. My actions quickly got his attention, and I could feel he was watching me. A second finger joined the first, then a third.

He slowly, methodically got out of his patrol car walked in my direction with a smirk on his face. I watched as he began to work his hand over his cock, getting ever closer.

He was right behind me now and by straining to look over my shoulder, I could see he had unbuttoned his pants and held what appeared to be a huge, glistening cock in his hands. He positioned himself directly behind my round tight ass and watched as my fingers fucked my cunt. I dreamed about his cock taking me from behind, raping me, making me, and my cunt his property.

Suddenly, I realized how I must look, leaning over, ass to the wind , fucking myself. I must have looked the perfect pig slut. I heard a slight laugh come from him and I turned almost completely around, without stopping my fingers to see if he was mocking me. When I did, I finally got a good look at his meat, dewed with precum, only inches from me. He was holding its throbbing head and grinning at me mockingly. “Oh God, I need that cock inside me now” I thought as I worked my fingers furiously into my cunt.

He slowly and roughly slapped my hand from my holes saying, “Now that’s enough of that.”

I nodded, thinking, anything, please, anything you want, just fuck me. Instead, he put his palm on my ass cheek, as if checking its firmness and then gave it a sharp smack. He then grabbed me, and shoved me toward a clump of bushes.

Hidden behind the hedge, he grabbed me, and pulled me to him. I could smell the coffee and cigarettes on his breath. He pushed my hand away from my cunt again and played his finger tips over the open of my being.

“Want that fucked, don’t you?” He growled into my ear.

“Yes,” I whimpered, “please.”

He took control, bending me over, and spreading my legs wide. He seemed to be examining me, and I felt exposed. He spread me wider, and found my wet cunt. He rubbed his finger across my clit, sending shock wave of pleasure throughout my body.

“What do you want,” he growled.

“Your cock, sir. Please, I want to feel your cock inside me,” I said giggling.

There wasn’t going to be any cock sucking with this stud. He was just going to give me what I needed, what he wanted. The sun was slowly lightening on the horizon in the west, when he spit in his palm and laved the head of his dick. He nudged his thick cockhead against my tight opening, and growled, “Bitch!”

I opened as he spearheaded into me, feeling the quivering muscle unfurl around the rubbery head of his cock. He pushed in slowly, letting me experience every steely inch. When he finally hit bottom, he pulsed inside me, stretching me even more.

“I’m a cop,” he whispered in my ear, the voice steely and the breath hot, slightly menacing. I froze as the words sent chills throughout my body. He reached into his shirt pocket and pulled out a badge, quickly flashing it before me. “You better be one of the best fucks I’ve ever had.” He grunted.

“Uhm-um,” I hissed, loving his deep tone of voice.

“Do a good job for me, babe, and I’ll do you a favor.”

My tensions faded away as his cock plied into my clutching cunt.

“Yeah,” he groaned, slamming his cock, from head to base up my little cunt. “Yeah….”

He fucked hard, sending waves of pain and pleasure throughout my body. He forced me down onto my hands and knees and fucked me, doggie style. Oh Jesus, the feel of his fat, cock stabbing into me was too much. “Arrest me, officer, I’ve been a bad girl,” I said between thrust.

Pounding away, in and out of my cunt, he eventually forced me to the ground. I lay under him, letting him rape my cunt. “Oh so good,” I moaned. So good….”

He held me down, grinding his wiry bush against my cunt lips. My gut was full of him, and I loved it. I felt watery inside like everything had melted around him. Each thrust made a quiet, wet, gush as he plied me with his nightstick of a cock. I was only too happy to be his partner in crime. I put out everything I had for him, letting him tell me what he wanted to do. I laid under him, letting him fuck me harder than any man every had.

The rhythmic slap of his thighs against the cheeks of my ass filled the early dawn air, along with his grunts, and my groans. When he started punch fucking me, pulling his entire dick out, then slamming it home, I almost died with lust. No man had ever made me feel so weak before, no man had ever had the power that silver badge imparted.

On and on we went, fucking, groaning, grunting, and moaning. Suddenly, he froze, his body tense, and energized above me. He drove his hips home, spanking my ass with his thighs, and moaned. “Take it, you know you want this. This is what you were begging for take my hot, spunk. Yeah, I’m cumming….”

My cunt went wild, cinching around him each time his big dick throbbed. It seemed to be growing, expanding, swelling to fill me like no man had ever done before. “Oh God,” I grunted. “Give it to me, Matt. Give me what I’ve always wanted. Give me your hot, cop cum.”

I felt his huge cock give one more wild surge, then spew cop spunk inside me, each spurt hitting me harder than the last. “Oh God,” I moaned as my cunt throbbed, pulsing beneath me.

“Oh God….”

I began cumming so hard that it drained down on the ground underneath us. He kept at me, fucking away like he hadn’t even cum. My cum oozed up around is cock and seeped out down between my wide spread legs. Then we collapsed.

Reality dawned like the sun in the east. Matt was a cop, a policeman on duty. I was in deep shit if we got caught. He slowly pulled out of me, his still hard cock gleaming with our juices.

When I caught my breath I playfully asked, “ So, you going to run me in?”

He smiled a slow wolfish grin and said, “yeah, you need to be punished, don’t you think? I’m going to take you back to my place and teach you a lesson.”

My pussy got wet all over again.

A story sent to me by a good friend.

It was a hot summer Saturday night in August. I had the weekend off and was thinking about one of my guy friends that I really wanted to have. I called R and asked him what he was doing. He said he was thinking about getting dinner, I asked if he wanted company.

He said he would be there to pick me up in an hour. I got in the shower, thinking about the evening. I slowly lathered up taking extra special care rubbing the suds around my firm round tits and pert nipples slowly going down to my throbbing clit.

I was getting so horny with the anticipation I had been fantasizing about him for so long, I couldn’t stand it any longer I needed to feel him inside me, deep inside me throbbing until we both exploded. I used my new shower head to bring me to climax - pulsing at top speed, just the right angle, talking to myself the whole time ….oh there.. Oh yes… oh baby cum for me…. yes I felt my orgasm here it was….. Oh god yes… that’s it.

That would hold me off for a little while. I had just waxed the night before, I waxed more than usual and was wondering if he would like my clean hairless look. I loved the clean smooth soft feeling and couldn’t keep my hands off myself, always having to put my fingers inside.

I put on a black halter top that really pushed up my cleaver age, no bra, black lace thong and a light wrap around blue and black tropical summer skirt I picked my Black high heal strappy sandal. My toes were freshly polished and I loved the look. I love to go without nylons in the summer and no bra. I love the way my skirt moves around my round firm ass, it feels so sexy. I work out, I am a petite woman with a 34C cup and small but full round ass. I have long brown chestnut hair to my waist and deep brown eyes.

I smoothed cream over my tanned shaped legs all the way up my thighs. I had to make myself stop before I had became to wet again….I wanted to make sure they glistened in the restaurant light. I really played up my eyes with my hair style and make up, making sure the curls fell in all the right places along the frame of my face. I wanted the full impact to hit him during dinner while looking into my eyes. He was used to seeing me a lot since we are best friends and I wanted him to see me as not just a buddy but a sensual woman.

He picked me up, God the smell of him when I got into his car almost sent me over the edge….. He was dressed in a tight black nylon shirt and casual pants. I noticed his nipples were hard. He is blond blue eyes and a strong jaw. He is very muscular and has a great ass. He looked so good I wanted to take him in my mouth right there. He said “wow”. Just one word that was all I really needed to hear, I knew the turmoil that was going on inside of him. I said is this appropriate?

He said “Oh God Yes”. We arrived at the restaurant, they seated us at a high booth table, my skirt kept inching down around my hips every time I moved, and you could see the top of my thong as I moved. I excused my self to go to the ladies room, he watched my every move, I walked extra slowly swaying ever so slightly to allow him to take in the full view as I was walking. I knew I was making an impact, I had to if I wanted to show him I was a sensual woman and not just his best friend.

We ordered dinner, I noticed both of us were avoiding the garlic oil for dipping bread. I wanted to kiss him so bad, I wasn’t sure how long I could hold off. After dinner he said he was thinking of going into town, would I like to go. I said yes but I better change this skirt or it will be flashing the whole crowd my thong while I was dancing. He said “and that’s a bad thing?”

He drove me home, I changed my skirt into a tight black mini skirt. We headed into town and went to our favorite club, this time neither one of us was interested walking around to scope out the possibilities. The night seemed to be moving in slow motion, we danced, grinding into each other. I was getting so hot I couldn’t take it. When he was buying us more drinks I found an air conditioner vent blowing down, He brought the drinks over and said ahhh you found the air, I said yes, want to join me for a blow job…… his facial expression was one that I will always remember…..WE agreed to leave then and there.

Driving home, I dropped my purse on the floor by accident, when I bent to pick it up, he said God I can’t take this anymore and grabbed for me…..I Leaned over, unzipped his pants, he was hard as a rock. All 9 inches of him. I had no idea he would be so big…. I slowly teased him with my tongue, going up and down his whole shaft, sucking his penis head. I was savoring every minute, I was able to take him deeper in my mouth than I ever thought I could. He said “I am not going to be able to drive”, I said “Yes you can, hurry and get us home.”

The whole ride, I wanted to keep him knowing what was in store for him, he tasted so good and felt so good in my mouth, I wanted to do this to him for so long….I could suck on his penis all night.

I couldn’t believe how fast he got us back to my house. I said “you sure you want this”, he said “I have wanted you for so long I have to have you right now”…..We went right to my bedroom, He couldn’t keep his hands off me, “come here I need to lick you, feel you, and eat you” he said, our clothes were quickly discarded.

I climbed on top of his face as he lay back on my bed, his tongue probed me, he began sucking licking, and one by one inserted his fingers, damn he was good.

He said so softly “you are so soft, you taste so good”, he slipped a finger in my anus…..I wasn’t expecting that, had I told him I like is up the ass… I needed that so bad, both places at once “yes do me, fill me , feel me, and make me cum… fuck me”….. before I knew it I was cumin for the first time with him, I had waited so long for him to show me he wanted me….our position turned quickly into a wrapped combination , me sucking and licking him, he was licking and biting and using both his hands to make feel better than I could imagine……. I didn’t want it to stop.

I had to have him in me, I straddled him, slowly putting him in me, I wasn’t sure I could take the whole 9 inches, he was much bigger than I thought…… I moved faster and faster, feeling every inch… every pulse …every vein….. I drove down on him harder, faster, I stayed on top for what seemed like an eternity…. he put his thumb against my clit and pinched my nipples with his other had……”oh yes, oh god - stay there, keep going”

“R, I am going to cum again.”

“Oh yes!” I came so hard I thought that was all I was going to be able to take for the night….he said “we have to change positions before I cum, I need to fuck you from behind and watch that gorgeous ass……”

He moved our bodies with such skill, wrapping his arms around my waist before I knew it he was suddenly behind me, I think the next best position to being on top is getting fucked from behind hard and fast. He was ramming me from behind with such force I couldn’t believe how good my insides were feeling I thought I would explode. He filled me to the very deepest part of my body and soul.

He reached under and played with my clit, rubbing with the same pace as his thrust, the other hand he stuck his finger in my mouth. I sucked his finger, imagining it was his penis, I pinched my nipples; I was going to cum.

“Oh god”, it was a full body experience cumming ….pulsing…. I couldn’t hold it back….He was pulsating, I could feel him cumin, I came again almost as soon as I felt the first bit of warm thick cum enter me, and we were as one.

We laid there for a while after that, he moved off me and said how that was. I said it was so good I have to do this, I took him back in my mouth….. I was able to take him whole, sucking licking and moving slowly at first. He hard so quickly again I was surprised at the quickness, he said are you sure, I don’t cum quickly the second time and we could be at this for hours…… That’s what we did, we kept sucking, licking fucking for hours. Before I knew it, the sun was rising. I think I came more than I ever had in my life. I had never ever experienced such hot passion as that.

We took showers when we were both so totally spent we were so satisfied. I walked him out, he kissed me so softly. He said I can’t wait to see you again. I am looking forward to a whole new relationship with you.

We were walking to the car, and he suddenly pulled out a knife that he has been carrying lately in his coat. It’s a switchblade, and the snap of the blade surprised the HECK out of me…. Startled me, and gave me a nice dose of adrenalin to boot. Then he said to me (in a VERY commanding voice), “Do you see this?”

He came close to me and grabbed my arm, just below my shoulder. His grip commanded me more than his tone. “Yes” I said, wondering what he was up to, but breathing quicker from the shock and the adrenalin.

“Keep walking!” he said. He then clicked the blade back into the handle of the knife, but pressed it up against my side, hard, yet not enough to hurt. Just enough to remind me he was taking control of me. We walked a few feet, toward my car, and he leaned over to my ear, and in a strong, raspy, low voice, whispered to me, “Don’t scream, don’t say a word, or I’ll kill you. Do you understand?” I nodded yes quickly, my mind racing with apprehension and excitement.

My breathing continued to race, as well, as I became lost in his words and his actions, forgetting that this was the very same man who I have come to trust with my life, my history, my soul, my love… At that moment, he became a stranger with such intensity as to light me up, both with fear and with trembling sexual tension. What would he do with me?

“What do you want with me?” I whispered. He yanked my arm forward in reply, hurrying my step and displaying his impatience with my actions.

“I told you not to talk!” He bit, pressing the butt of the knife against my throat, threatening to click open the blade against my vulnerable flesh. He then opened the passenger-side door of my car, throwing me onto the seat, sneering at me. He drove me back to my place in silence.

Once inside my apartment, me shaking with trepidation, he said to me, “I’ve only got 8 hours ’till I’m outta here. You cooperate with me, and I won’t have to hurt you. You understand?” I nodded.

I guess he could sense my fear, his voice seemed so powerful and pleased with himself. He grabbed my arm again, pushing me toward my bedroom, which was easily visible given the small size of my living quarters. My mind began to fly wildly with images of what he had in mind. I knew what he wanted, but I didn’t want to admit it to myself. No, no, no, I kept saying, he’s not really going to do anything, he just wants a place to stay.

The entire time he had kept me close enough to him as to not let me see his face. Of course my fear helped him; I was petrified that if I made one false move, he would take it as an excuse to slice my throat open. He shoved me face down on my bed, ripping my coat off my arms as he flung me forward.

“Eight hours, and I’ll be outta here. You won’t even hear me leave. And if you are good and cooperative, you’ll get outta here alive!” Then he moved in close behind me, pressing me to the bed with his weight. “Do you have neighbors nearby?” In fear and inability to think, I froze. He shook me quickly, hard, “I said, DO YOU HAVE NEIGHBORS NEARBY?!! Don’t MESS with me, little girl, or I’ll do you like I did the shop clerk. Told HIM I wouldn’t hurt him, too. You never know, by looking at people.” He laughed. “Get my drift?” I nodded.

What was that supposed to mean?!! He had told ME he wouldn’t hurt me. He had killed a shop clerk? What was I in for? Did I have any choice? “Is there anyone around who might hear you?” He repeated. I nodded again, becoming even more aware that there was nothing I could do now to defend myself, which would not mean sure death for me. “You live here all alone, don’t you?” I could hear he was half mocking me, that I had no one to help me. I nodded again. I heard him laugh.

He started to lift his weight off me, telling me, “Don’t even MOVE, or your DEAD!” What could I do? “TURN your head into the pillow!” I did, quickly. I didn’t want to infuriate him again, he seemed to be calming down a bit, and that meant I was more likely to live. “Such a pretty girl, to be living all alone. So-o-o-o-o pretty.” His voice sounded like a crazed lunatic as he spoke to me. He was slowly stroking my hair, like the way you’d pet animal.

Finally he spoke again. “What’s your name, pretty one?” I didn’t know what to say…should I tell him, or should I give him a fake name? Surely he’d never tell me HIS name, not his REAL one, anyway. He didn’t like my hesitation, and was quick to retaliate. He started gripping my neck as though to choke me, and I said “Tammy” through the tightness of his grasp. Then he got off me, moving toward my closet.

“My name is Tom,” he sneered. Yeah, right. Like I’d believe that… He opened my closet door, looking for who-knows-what, tearing things in the process. My mind continued to be a flood of images of fear and possibilities of what this man could take from me, now that he had me in his control. Anything he wanted, he could just take.

“Please don’t hurt me.” I wanted to distract him. “You want money, you can have it. You want a place to stay, you can…”

“SHADDUP!!” he howled. He was suddenly on top of me again. “You know DAMNED well that I will take ANYTHING I WANT! Besides, I TOLD you, I just need a place to spend the night, and then I’m free! Now, I have to be sure you don’t see me, so I won’t have to kill you. Can’t have you identifying me, now can I?”

He was stroking my long, blonde hair again, over and over, slower and slower. “So-o-o-o-o pretty!” Finally he spoke again, “I’m going to put this over your eyes, so that you can’t see. But I don’t want it to hurt, ok?”

I nodded again, a bit relieved that he had some compassion. Maybe I wouldn’t die after all. He tied a black strip of cloth around my eyes, being careful to move my hair before it pulled. So gentle, his touch. So this was what he was hunting for in my closet…a blindfold. He pulled the knot tight; firm, so that I couldn’t open my eyes, but not painfully tight. “Does that hurt?”

“No,” I said. My voice sounded small to me, like a child’s. But I was calming down. My only fear was that he wanted to take my body, and there’d be nothing I could do. Suddenly he grabbed my wrists, firmly. He was pulling my arms behind my back, but not painfully; only strong enough to impress me, not enough to hurt me. Not unless I struggled against him. I thought he’d tie my hands behind my back, he was looping a strap around my left wrist, but then he grabbed my shoulders and flipped me onto my back.

I quickly understood what he was up to, as my left wrist was pulled outward away from me; he had obviously tied it to a rope or something, and intended to tie my arms to my bedposts. I let him tie me. I struggled at first, and he responded by grabbing my neck again as if to choke me. I immediately stopped fighting.

“If you cooperate, I won’t hurt you, Tammy.” He was taunting me with his voice, making obvious implications that I could no longer deny. I lay frozen, as he progressed through each step, tying my other arm, pulling my pants down over my ankles and off, laying his body over my legs and my thighs. Each step, he repeated his appreciation of me, “So-o-o-o-o pretty….So-o-o-o-o pretty.”

As he lay on top of me, he whispered in my ear, “Just cooperate Tammy, I won’t hurt you.” He was using a soothing, softer voice, trying to calm me. Instead, my breathing quickened again. Being so vulnerable, not able to make any choices, being so helpless…he liked it, and was getting turned on by it, but so was I. Yet I fought to not let it show.

“I won’t hurt you…” he repeated, as he traced the form of my legs with his rough hands. “This is what ALL you women want, isn’t it?!!” He lifted his body away from me, leaving me wondering what he’d do next. Then I felt his knees near my shoulders. “I want to feel those pretty lips!” he sneered. Then, taunting me, “Cooperate, and you won’t get hurt.”

I took him in my mouth, noticing that my tongue was moving over him, without me thinking about it. Realizing this, I stopped; this lead him to thrusting his hips into me, sliding the length of him between my lips. He moaned in pleasure, “Mmm, yesss, I LIKE that.” His movements continued several minutes more, before he lifted himself away from me again. “Yesss, eight hours till I have to go.”

He then pulled my sweater up, exposing my breasts. I felt totally and uncontrollably vulnerable. I was wearing a black lace bra, as I usually did, and he moaned in approval. I was terrified of him. At the same time though, I was fighting back waves of pleasure coursing through my body. I was very wet, and I knew it would only be a matter of time before he’d find out, and my body would betray me.

He then lifted his body off me, only to abruptly force my legs apart at the knees. I felt like I was going to cry. But I never could, very easily, and now was no different. My tears never progressed past whimpers. Suddenly he thrust his fingers into me. I inhaled sharply at the shock, and the pleasure, of feeling him touching me. “Hmmm… Do you LIKE that, Tammy?”

He was playing with my mind, using my name to prevent me from hiding inside my mind, to keep the situation immediate to me. I didn’t answer. He took my silence as a confirmation to him, a sign of pleasure, and began moving his fingers inside me, pleasing me, touching me as only he knows how. Wave after wave of pleasure flooded my body, and I had to fight not to moan out loud. Realizing I was restraining, he continued caressing me, bringing me closer and closer to orgasm, pushing my limits of self-control. Finally I lost myself. Moaning and undulating at his touch, I was totally at his command.

“Tell me you are mine!” he said. I hesitated. His touch became more insistent; his weapon of control was pleasure now, not pain. My resistance collapsed under it, and when he repeated, “Tammy, TELL me you are MINE!” I followed his order.

I was lost in the waves, on the brink of what my body so hungrily craved, when he pulled his fingers out of me, making me writhe in unsatisfied agony. He’s teasing me. The pleasure continued to course through my blood, when I finally felt him climbing on top of me, preparing to thrust himself into me. “Do you feel that?” he teased, as he let just his tip caress my hunger. His actions were making my desire increase, to mind-numbing proportions! “Hmm?! Do you feel that?” he insisted, until all I could do in my madness and desire was nod, writhe, and moan.

Finally he thrust himself full into me, fast, then withdrawing slowly, repeated the quick thrust. Within the depths of me, each stroke’s hit caused incredible, powerful, thundering amounts of pleasure, his technique both teasing me with the slow withdrawal, and building me with the quick pressure. He’d started slowly at first, torturing me and building me, but then began repeating his movements faster and faster, until I couldn’t hold back my orgasms, or my groans. As though riding the crest of a wave, he had succeeded in controlling me even down to my climax, continuing the pleasure until finally, I could sense HIS approach, and he pulled out of me.

“I’m going to cum all over that pretty body of yours now, Tammy!” he breathed. He then started pulling the front of my sweater up over the back of my head, fully exposing my chest and belly to him. It wasn’t but a second before he was inside me again, pounding yet another climax out of me, and out of him.

He demanded I lift my head, saying “Do you want to taste me? Lift that pretty head up and open your mouth!” He was very close. As he came, he backed up, spraying hot liquid over my breasts, belly, and waist, but moving too far away for his juices to reach my lips. His voice showed his pleasure just as his body had, and he touched my fluid-covered skin with his fingers. He then told me to open my mouth again, and pressed his cream-covered fingertips over my lips and my tongue.

“I might even come back, when this is all over. I like you!” he said. He moved off the bed, finally, and went to my bathroom to retrieve a towel, and to clean up. With familiar gentleness, he cleaned my body, untied my bonds, and laid next to me. Then he removed my blindfold. Blinking, I had some difficulty re-adjusting my eyes to the light of the room. I looked at my captor, his gentle smile, his glittering eyes, his wavy hair.

“So does this mean you have to kill me now, now that I’ve seen you?” I smiled. He smiled back.

“This means I’m curling up next to you and going to SLEEP for the next 8 hours until I have to go back to work!” my love replied.

“Thanks for playing the game,” I whispered back to my lover.

This is a story sent to me by a very nice gentleman who wishes to remain anonymous.

It’s 6:30 as I glance at my watch when I finish parking on your street, and I wonder if you’d been up late all night long as usual. I climb the stairs and struggle somewhat with your door key, trying to avoid too much noise that might startle your dog.

Once inside, I remove my shoes and grab an glass of water on the way to your bedroom. The sun’s just begun to rise in the eastern window, which provides a pleasant glow within the room. I pause to watch you as you sleep. You’re laying in somewhat of a fetus position on your right side, your legs are pulled up, arms folded in front of you.

Not knowing whether or not I would stop this morning, you went to bed nude anyway. The light sheet was pulled up to just-above your breasts, with your left arm outside their protective covering. You are in a deep, peaceful slumber, hardly breathing, a smile on your face. I approach you from behind and lean over to kiss you on your left ear-lobe, just lightly, then kiss my way down your neck, pulling away your hair as I go. You’re somewhat startled at first, but in your subconscious mind you’re only having a dream.

You roll onto your back, pulling the sheet tightly across your bountiful bosoms. I move my head down to your left nipple and gently bite it through the sheet. I can feel it growing harder as I nibble at it, ever so gently, not wanting to wake you, yet. I reach over to your right tit and cup it from underneath in my left hand, gently squeezing it within my palm, pinching the growing nipple between my thumb and forefinger. I can feel your heartbeat increase as I alternate between squeezing your breast and pinching and biting your nipples.

Glancing up, I see the smile on your face growing, I feel your breath increasing against my face. You’re still deeply asleep, having a pleasant dream…. Kneeling on the floor beside your bed, I remove my left hand from your tit and slide it under the sheet to your left thigh. You’re hot to the touch, which tells me my hand must feel very cold as I gently caress the soft soft skin of your upper leg…up and down, avoiding your pussy, still biting gently and pulling on your nipple through the sheet. Your left hand moves to the back of my head and pushes it against your breast, your right hand moves under the sheet toward your warm mound.

Your legs part as your right hand begins to rub around the outside of your cunt-lips. Your left hand releases my head and joins your other hand, one above and one below the sheet. I look again and see the smile growing even more. Releasing your nipple, I move down the side of the bed and pull myself under the sheet. As I approach your pussy, I can smell your musky aroma…and I watch as your right hand rubs your pussy lips between your middle and ring fingers, up and down. I get the impression that this is what you were doing shortly before you fell asleep a few hours before!

Moving over your left leg, I fight against the sheet being pushed by your left hand, and work my way up, kissing your soft skin from just inside your left knee upward toward your pleasure box, occasionally biting your softness between my teeth. At the same time, I lightly brush the inside of your right leg with my fingertips, opposite to where my lips are kissing. Your legs open more for me, allowing me to pull my body, still under the sheet, in between them. Your left hand moves to your nipples, your right hand finds my head and pulls it, forcing my nose against your clit. I manage to reach around with my hands on either side and pull your lips apart, exposing your hole to my tongue. I wiggle my moustache against your growing clittie, causing an immediate thrust from your hips toward me.

I insert my tongue into your hole, licking up and down the inside of your lips, then pucker my own lips to allow me to suck from your hole. I suck a little, lick a little, suck some more and lick some more, avoiding your clit except for when you buck your hips upward against my nose. I wish I could breathe through my ears! Your breathing has become almost frantic, you moan, your words are incoherent, you really enjoy this! You’re so wet now, both from your own secretions as well as those from my licking.

You pull your legs upward to help thrust against my mouth, so I reach my right hand around and under your left leg and insert first one, then two fingers into your hole, freeing up my tongue to flick back and forth across your erect little clit. Moving my fingers into your hole and back out, curling them inside you, pulling against the lower part of your cunt before removing them. My fingers are soaked, like everything else, so I slide them down to the bottom of your pussy and find your puckered ass opening and rub the wetness against it.

Still nibbling at your clit with my teeth, I pull gently at it and flick it, inside my mouth, with my tongue. I suck it, I bit it, I flick it, I fight against your thrusting hips, I insert the tip of my middle finger into your back door and move it around until it loosens up enough to add my ring finger. In and out, my pinkie finger tracing your crack, in and out, my index finger tracing along the insides of your pussy lips, in and out, flicking and biting your clit. I shift, replacing my left hand with my right (my fingers are getting TIRED!), and reach the floor with my right hand to find the glass that I’d brought into the room.

I stop working on your clit for a fraction of a second, and when I return, I have an ice cube between my teeth and touch it against your engorged clit, causing you to have a series of convulsions. I continue working my left-hand fingers in and out of your ass as I try to keep that ice on your clit, but your raging hip movements make it difficult. All at once you stop and your hips become limp…I remove my fingers and mouth, and look up to see your heaving breasts as you try to regain your breath.

Pulling out from under the sheet, I see that you’re now wide awake, your eyes are glazed over, but you’re defintately awake, and the smile on your face tells me that you enjoyed being awakened this morning…. I move up, kiss you firmly on the lips, then go into the bathroom to wash your delicious wetness from my hairy face…I gotta go to work! Perhaps I’ll stop by again tomorrow morning.

I stood on the edge of the bridge at 2 am in the morning, ready to jump. Death was sitting on my shoulder, whispering in my ear to end my years of suffering. I was tired of being lonely and alone. I had several different boyfriends, acquaintances, one night stands, but I was never with anyone more than a few weeks at a time. At age 34, I told myself it was just because I hadn’t found Mr. Right yet. The truth was that I was told my problem with not staying with someone for very long, was because I had a borderline personality disorder, which made me impulsive, aggressive, and I often engaged risky sex. I often drank and used drugs, which made my moods very unstable. The men in my life however enjoyed the fact that I was a freak when it came to sex. I think that was the only reason some of them stayed around as long as they did. I liked taking full control of my ride, and ride them anywhere, anytime, until they could cum no more.

I had several drinks earlier in the night, drinking a little over a half of a fifth. I was still clinging onto the bottle, slowly taking sip after sip as I stood swaying back and forth near the edge of the bridge. I hadn’t jump yet, because the thought was in my head that maybe it wasn’t high enough and if I jump I would only severely injury myself, and not die, leaving myself a cripple for the rest of my lonely miserable life. All my thoughts were jumbled and my head felt light as I turned toward the edge and peered over into the darkness below. I stood there for a few minutes, breathing in the fresh air, and trying to clear my head of the images I kept seeing in my mind. Tears began to freely flow down my cheeks, dropping into the darkness below.

I leaned my head back and took a long gulp from the bottle of Tequila. As I did, I could feel myself leaning out farther over the edge, until I began to feel myself letting go. I didn’t stop myself, instead I cried out, “Goodbye cruel world. You will hurt me no more. I‘m tired of trying to find my dream man.”

From out of no where I felt a hand grabbing me by the shoulder and by one arm. Frightened, my first reaction was to pull away from whatever had grabbed me, but I allowed myself to be firmly held until my rescuer had pulled me into his arms. My bottle of Tequila fell from my hand and dropped into the cold dark water below with a loud splash. I turned around, gasping for air, as I looked up into the eyes of the most gorgeous man I had ever seen. I was so light headed that I felt like I was going to faint, but he again caught me in his arms as I began to sway. I stood there leaning into the arms of the man who had just saved my life. I could feel his strong muscular build in his arms and chest as he held me tightly. I looked up into his deep blue-green eyes, seeing his inner deep passion, I couldn’t help but tremble.

He broke his gaze into my eyes and stood back after releasing my arm, and smiled at me. I was speechless for the first time in my life. I didn’t know what to say to him. I didn’t question him about how he knew I was out there, if he knew what I was about to do, or why he was there. We stood there, staring into each others eyes, as if we were the only two people left in the world. I was speechless, and just stood there smiling back at him. He was the man of my dreams, the man I had fantasized about each night before falling asleep. The man I had masturbated to when I closed my eyes.

“Are you alright now?” he asked with a deep caring voice.

I was still in shock from having him pull me back from the edge of death. It was all like a dream, nothing seemed real. He squeezed my hand gently, waiting for me to answer. I could feel the warmth of his hand as he held my hand firmly. It was sending chills of pleasure throughout my body. I wanted to take him right there; strip him naked, and fuck him until I could fuck no more.

Finally, I managed to get out the words, “Yes, I’m fine now. Thank you so much for helping me.” I tried to compose myself in the best way I could by straightened up my hair and dusting off my old ragged jeans that I had owned since high school. We both smiled at each other, and I felt my heart skip a beat as if I were a teenager in love for the first time.

I finally managed to get out the words, “My name is Tayla.” I could feel butterflies flipping around inside my stomach as he took me by the hand and gently brought my hand to his lips and kissed the top of my hand softly. I could tell that he was looking at me waiting for a response. I blushed as chills ran throughout my entire body, from the top of my head to the tips of my toes.

“My name is Joe,” he said while still holding my hand, and staring deep into my blue-green eyes. Nervously, I held his hand tightly, and looked deep into his eyes.

“Joe do you believe in fate?”

“Yes, Tayla I do.”

“Then you know I want you to come to my place right now.”

So many thoughts were running through my mind as we walked to my place. I was so happy to have finally found the man of my dreams. He was 6’3”, around 220lbs, with a well toned body, that was strong yet tender looking at the same time. His eyes were the same bright blue-green shade as mine, and seemed to glow in the night. I found myself staring at him, wondering why fate had chosen this night to show itself.

So many different thoughts were running through my mind as we walked into my little apartment. I led him into the front room where we sat down on the sofa and continued for a moment to stare into each others eyes. My heart was pounding fiercely in my chest, part in fear and part in excitement.

“Joe I have to tell you something,” I said as a tear began to drop from my right eye. Joe reached out for my hand and held it firmly, trying to comfort me. I hesitated at first, thinking what I was about to tell him would drive him away, because he would think I was crazy or something.

Finally, I managed to get out the words, “Tonight, I was going to take my life.”

“I know,” Joe said speaking softly with his head held down. “I was on the other side of the bridge, ready to take my own life, when I overheard you crying. I was feeling the same pain as you, and felt compelled to go there and end my suffering. When I saw you, I couldn’t believe you were the woman that I had seen in my dreams many times before. That’s why I came with you back to your place. I had to find out if you were real or just another dream.”

He laid his hand softly against my cheek and stroked it gently, speaking tenderly he said he was so happy he had finally found me. My body ached for him to touch me in the way I always dreamed he would. We both reached for each other and held our bodies tight to each others chest. I felt in my heart and soul that Joe was the man I needed in my life and arms. He was the one was would rescue me from my life of hell.

As my eyes closed slowly he whispered softly in my ear, “I will be with you forever my love.”

He kissed my cheek as my eyes closed all the way, and soon I was fast into a deep sleep. When I awoke, I saw Joe had turned out all the lights and placed candles all around the room. He had stripped off his shirt, and was standing above me staring at me. I felt his hand cup one of breast and begin teasing my nipple until it was hard. I began to whimper as he took my other nipple in his mouth and sucked on it as he continued firmly massaging my other one. My body was on fire from the inside out. I closed my eyes again as Joe leaned down on my body and began kissing me deeply, moving his tongue around in my eager awaiting mouth. I moaned as he kissed my throat, and worked his way down from thee to the valley between my breast. He was tasting my body as he went, lavishing me with his tongue bath. He took both my breast in hands and pushed them together so he could lick both nipples at the same time.

I could feel his cock pressing against his tight jeans as continued to work one of his hands down the front of my jeans between my legs. He searched for my love spot and entered my moist nest first with his fingertips, rotating his fingers from my opening to my clit, making small circular movements over the area just below my clit. I was on the verge of begging him to fuck me.

He unzipped my jeans and pulled them and my panties off. Joe spread my legs far apart, and had one leg over the edge of the couch, making room for him to access my wet cunt easily. He could smell my fragrance as he kissed me up and down my legs while he worked my clit into a frenzy. Stroking it at a fast pace, only stopping to slide a finger or two deep inside.

I began making loud moaning sounds deep in my throat as he slid his finger in and out of my sweet pussy, making me wetter than I already was. It was just like in my dreams. My back arched as I felt his tongue flicking back and forth across my clit. He began sucking on my clit with intense pressure, which sent me over the edge and I had to grab the back of his head. He darted his tongue in and out my hole as he continued rubbing my clit, draining all my juices.

I felt him stand and slip his pants off, freeing his large cock that was glistening with pre-cum at the tip. I wanted to feel him in my hands and reached out to take him into my waiting eager mouth. I took his cock in my mouth, and stroked him gently up and down while looking into his eyes. I could feel him quickly building to a climax.

“I want to feel you deep inside Joe,” I begged him as I pulled him close. I could feel the large tip of his cock touching my steaming hot pussy lips. I raised myself higher, wanting him inside of me. Joe gently spread my legs wider and began slipping the head of his cock inside my moist and ready pussy. He pumped just a little in and out, teasing me. I raised my hips again, wanting more of him, but he only slowly gave her another inch, and teased me again.

Finally, I could tell he could no longer take it, and pushed all of himself deep inside in tight cunt. I cried out with pleasure as his cock hit the bottom and held there firmly, letting my cunt get use to the size of his cock. Slowly he began moving in and out as I began moving my body to the motion of his thrusts, moaning out loud each time he plunged back in. I tossed my head back and forth, not being able to stop the feelings of love and passion that burned within my body. He continued to pump his rod in and out of my pussy, making me cum again and again.

Each time I came my muscles inside would tighten around his cock, making him moan as loud as I was. I could feel his cock throbbing inside my pussy walls as he seemed to grown bigger inside me. He grabbed me by my hips as I grabbed hold of his shoulders and upper back with my fingernails. I dug in a little as he pounded harder and deeper into my aching cunt. The more I dug in, the harder he pumped my pussy, until I felt him arch his back and his juice came flowing out.

I awoke with the bottle still in my hands, sitting near the bridge. It had all only been a dream from a passed out drunk mind. I stood cursing God and anyone else within shouting distance, causing myself to accidentally fall back towards the waters edge. As I felt myself going over the edge, a strong muscular arm reach out for mine, and quickly pulled me back into his arms. I collapsed on the ground with my heart beating so hard inside my chest that it felt uncomfortable. Suddenly, I began throwing up all the alcohol that I had been drinking that night along with a tuna fish sandwich.

I felt gentle hands reaching down and pulling my long blonde hair to the side as I continued violently vomiting. When I finally finished, I heard a kind gentle voice ask if I was okay. I finally looked up and saw a someone standing there with his hand out, offering me a hand up. I focused on the face smiling at me and held out my hand. He quickly pulled me up until I was standing right against his body. I looked up into the blue-green eyes of a guy who was 6’3” as he whispered, “Hi, my name is Joe.”

If you yelled for 8 years, 7 months and 6 days you would have produced enough sound energy to heat one cup of coffee.
(Hardly seems worth it.)

If you farted consistently for 6 years and 9 months, enough gas is produced t o create the energy of an atomic bomb.
(Now that’s more like it!)

The human heart creates enough pressure when it pumps out to the body to squirt blood 30 feet.
(O.M.G.!)

A pig’s orgasm lasts 30 minutes.
(In my next life, I want to be a pig.)

A cockroach will live nine days without its head before it starves to death. (Creepy.)
(I’m still not over the pig.)

Banging your head against a wall uses 150 calories an hour.
(Don’t try this at home…maybe at work.)

The male praying mantis cannot copulate while its head is attached to its body. The female initiates sex by ripping the male’s head off.
(”Honey, I’m home. What the…???!”)

The flea can jump 350 times its body length. It’s like a human jumping the length of a football field.
(30 minutes…lucky pig! Can you imagine?)

The catfish has over 27,000 taste buds.
(What could be so tasty on the bottom of a pond?)

Some lions mate over 50 times a day.
(I still want to be a pig in my next life…quality over quantity)

Butterflies taste with their feet.
(Something I’ve always wanted to know.)

The strongest muscle in the body is the tongue.
(Hmmmmmm……)

Right-handed people live, on average, nine years longer than left-handed people.
(If you’re ambidextrous, do you split the difference?)

Elephants are the only animals that cannot jump.
(okay, so that would be a good thing)

A cat’s urine glows under a black light.
(I wonder who was paid to figure that out?)

An ostrich’s eye is bigger than its brain.
(I know some people like that.)

Starfish have no brains.
(I know some people like that too.)

Polar bears are left-handed.
(If they switch, they’ll live a lot longer)

Humans and dolphins are the only species that have sex for pleasure.
(What about that pig??)

Now that you’ve smiled at least once, it’s your turn to spread these crazy facts and send this to someone you want to bring a smile to, maybe even a chuckle.